Today, National Day of Reflection, marks three years since the beginning of the first lockdown, and a time of unsettlement and insecurity that began to ripple through the nation.
For us personally, the most disruptive part of this time was a phone call that day to inform us of new uncertainty around a new build house that we had reserved and customised (and had sold our then house for), and how possible or impossible prearranged timings of completion, exit dates, entry dates, key hand overs, etc would be.
As it happens about a month later we ended up being allowed to back out of contract with the building company because they had completely changed their plans and order of builds which would ultimately set us back a year… and we had a lovely couple moving into our old house within a matter of months!
If you had told us that that time of stress and grieving of what was meant to be an exciting next-chapter would lead us to a house and a living situation that we would love and work out even better than we had planned for before, we would have laughed in your face.
We were very much stuck in a cycle of impossibilities/ new potential possibilities/ being stuck confined to our house (lockdown) and so unable to get out there and feel like we were making progress/ solicitors from both sides of our house sale totally bombarding us with questions - and it all felt a little too much.
We didn’t pause to reflect on the situation as a whole. We couldn’t see the bigger picture.
We ultimately knew everything would turn out okay because we believe in a God that provides peace in every situation - even when it doesn’t make sense - and Aubs and I are a good team and always manage to work it out, but we were so consumed with the stress of it all.
Only when we look back now, we see and remember all of the good that was happening around us in that time, and how much strength we drew from each other and those around us that love us - all of that is only good - and we were missing it.
I said when I started this brand that I hoped it would give me space and time to be more present and practise reflection as a good, consistent habit.
Although I do sometimes fall short, I am better at catching myself when I find myself starting to fret about the future or stressing about things that have already happened that I can’t change.
I find when I’m giving all of my efforts and brain space to ‘today’ I have better times of refection. Not just at the end of the day when I try to remember to journal, but throughout it too. I notice all of the little things that would be so easy to miss if my brain was wandering into yesterday or tomorrow.
I know that times of reflection look different for everyone.
I’m very fortunate to live on the outskirts of a lovely wee town in Scotland and in a matter of minutes I can be out in the beautiful countryside. So for me some of my best reflection/ thinking time is while I’m out running between the fields or walking my parents’ beautiful black lab. There are no distractions and I find a lot of clarity and a lot of peace being out in the fresh air.
A lot of days I really don't feel like going out into the cold and the grey, but I push myself out that door and I never regret that time of quiet and intentional busy-life pausing. Actually the busier and more stressed that I am, the more I find myself taking that time and regrouping my brain.
Total contrast, but I am also a lover of long, hot showers and this is another time of the day where I intentionally do some of my best thinking - and is a great use of time for all of those of you who are super busy and can't carve out that time of quiet anywhere else in your day,
For some people it feels unnatural, or even impossible with busy schedules, to take that time to pause. It might even take a significant life event to be given the kind of “permission” or push to do some self-reflecting, but I would strongly encourage you to try and put it in to more regular practise and it will come much more naturally to you, and even positively influence your day-to-day.
Find a way that’s comfortable for you and check in with yourself regularly, see how far you’ve come and how well you’re doing and be grateful and mindful for the journey that has brought you to where you are.